Thor: Ragnarok hits theaters on Friday 11/3/17. From the previews, you might think this is a story about Thor. You would be wrong. It is all about Skurge the Executioner played by the incomparable Karl Urban.
Warning: What follows is not your typical Thor: Ragnarok review.
And it probably contains minor spoilers.
dear thor – it ain’t all about you
I know that the name implies that the movie is about Thor and his pals like The Hulk, Valkyrie, and Loki.
You would be wrong.
That whole thing about Thor and his buddies trying to save Asgard from Hela the Goddess of Death is just a side plot.
The movie is actually the redemption story of Skurge the Executioner played by the movie’s stand-out star Karl Urban.
If you aren’t familiar with Karl Urban, well shame on you.
Go watch the newest Star Trek movies where he plays a spot-on Dr. Leonard McCoy. Then check out Doom, Dredd, and the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and The Return of the King.
He’s a pretty damn good actor and a nice guy.
In fact, he is the ONLY actor to have ever shaken the blogger’s hands during a press junket.
And he isn’t bad to look at either. Not bad at all. And he is from New Zealand, so he totally has that hot accent thing going on.
the redemption story of skurge the executioner
The REAL story of Thor: Ragnarok is the redemption of Skurge the Executioner.
Skurge starts the movie as just a humble servant in Asgard.
In his opening scene, he delivers the best line in the movie when he introduces his new guns he acquired in a place on Earth named Tex-Ass. The gun’s names are Dez and Troy, so together they are Destroy.
(Get it? Dez Bryant and Troy Aikman were Dallas Cowboy football players. Yeah. I didn’t get it either until someone pointed it out.)
When Hela, The Goddess of Death arrives on Asgard, she quickly recognizes Skurge’s potential and names him as her Executioner.
At first, he embraces his new leadership role. But he soon regrets his role in Hela’s mission to destroy Asgard.
Without giving away too much of the plot in his final scene, Skurge redeems himself in an Oscar-worthy scene that would make Shakespeare weep.
Bravo Karl Uban. Bravo.
what’s up with the hair superheroes?
I must point out a problem with Thor: Ragnarok that serves as a significant distraction.
The nasty hair.
Seriously – What’s up with the unwashed stringy hair thing. Thor’s icky hair is literally the only thing I remember from the first Thor movie.
I may have yelled “YES!” in the theater when Thor gets a haircut.
And the problem isn’t limited to Thor. Loki has long greasy hair. Valkyrie has messy hair.
Hela has messy hair when she first arrives, but she gets a past. After all, she just returned from being banished millennia. Plus, she quickly cleans herself up.
By the way, Cate Blanchett totally rocked her role as the Goddess of Death.
Once again, Karl Urban stands out from the crowd with his no-upkeep, clean bald head.
Please, Marvel. I’m begging you. Give your superheroes some Pantene and let them take a shower.
thor: ragnarok review
I’m obviously a HUGE fan of Karl Urban. But I have admitted before that I’m not fond of superhero movies, and I’m not a Marvel fangirl.
For a real review of Thor: Ragnarok, read the one by my friend Patty.
She also wrote a killer post about her interview with Karl Urban.
He touched her. I hate her now too.